This semester has been the hardest semester of my educational career thus far, not because of the content, or the demanding schedule, but because of the busy work, my responsibilities as a wife and mother, and my ever-changing day to day schedule. Since we returned home from North Carolina, until about a week or two ago, Jarom has been busy about 95% of the day writing, writing letters for potential fellowships, emails, papers, etc. He of course, took the lap top with him, making it very difficult to get anything done, as our desktop computer is in Fae's room... and the only time I can do homework is when she is taking a nap. Quite the conundrum I know. (And yes, we thought about moving the computer out of that room, but who ever installed the Ethernet outlets didn't do a sufficient and or thought out job, making it impossible.) So, needless to say I was constantly in "catch up" mode. There is nothing in this world I hate more than being behind in something
and being stressed about it.. well, maybe 1 thing, wet paper towels. (SICK!) In all seriousness though, I truly was having stress issues. I try to live my life in a calm, collected manner so that I don't really ever exhibit much stress on the outside, nor do I feel stressed on the inside. I try to let the little things go, ignore Fae when she is screaming in a store, or not worry too much when Jarom makes a huge mess in the kitchen right before I am having company over. However, I could not stop worrying, stressing, and freaking out about my classes during those first 3 weeks. I was moody and mean, and having the worst bout of stress headaches in the world, insomuch 3 advil every hour didn't even help. My back hurt, my throat hurt, my neck was killing me, and I could tell my body was literally shutting down. I'm sure you're thinking, "wow, this girl can't handle anything!" and you know what, maybe you're right.
After listening to conference this past weekend, Pres. Uchtdorf spoke about preserving the relationships that matter to us the most. I was really touched by that, I was upset with myself for ignoring Fae to do homework, and mad that I was moody, and mean toward Jarom, but after much thought that madness faded into humility. I knew that was something I needed to hear. I thought about school, and realized that there were really only 2 reasons I was finishing my degree, 1 was because I want to be a good example for Fae. I want her to value education and become everything that she is capable of becoming. 2 is because I know it is what I should do, and I will be happy I accomplished such an amazing thing. However, making sure my family knows they are my first priority is more important than either of those two reasons. I never want Fae to feel like my homework and grades are more important than her. I decided then and there I would never put off reading her a story or playing with her to do anything that wasn't dire. I vowed to be more cheerful and loving toward Jarom, even when I am annoyed that we don't get to see him as much as we would like, and to stop some of my complaining that he doesn't help as much as I'd like around the house. (Some of my complaints are valid by the way, haha)
Anyway, religion aside, I think we all need to preserve our relationships with the people we love and cherish the most, because all those other people and things don't matter. Time, is love, and it's the best thing you can give.
I look forward to many cuddle sessions, lots of learning and new experiences with my little bird, because those are the things that are most important, not the perfectly edited paper, or the immaculate house (much to my chagrin, just joking, but I'm a real, live clean freak). I love the song "Time is love" by Josh Turner, I sing it loudly when I hear it so Jarom really hears the lyrics, but how cute are they?
I only get so many minutes,
don't wanna spend 'em all on the clock
in the time that we spent talkin',
how many kisses have I lost?
time is love, gotta run,
love to hang longer,
but I got someone who waits,
waits for me and right now
she's where I need to be,
time is love, gotta run
I LOVE THESE PEOPLE! (even that wierd one giving the camera a silly face)
