I should probably type this on my other blog, but I don't really care right now. It's late, I'm tired and for some reason all I can smell is Fae's pee diaper that I honestly haven't thrown away yet and it's sitting right here on the desk by me. Gross, I know.. and just because I publicly said that I'm going to have to lysol everything.
Anyway, How was your valentine's day? Mine was alright, we kinda celebrated it on Saturday because Mondays are pretty busy for us. We did the usual (kinda) and went out to eat... but we actually went to a different restaurant for dessert! It was sooo yummy. We brought Fae with us, because hey! it was her first valentines day! I would have given her some of my cheese cake, however she has a thing about dairy products. Jarom gave her YOGURT the other day and she was sick for 2 days. Sometimes I don't know what goes through his mind.
Anyway, On Monday Jarom came home with a dozen pink and orange roses (my favorite colors)and one single rose for Fae. How cute is that, he also bought me a new bag (mostly because he broke my old one) and I got him a new pair of shoes.. since his old ones had holes in them.. yes we are pretty classy what with our broken bag and holey shoes haha. Either way it was a very nice valentines day.
But The thing I most want to talk about has nothing to do with valentines day, or bags or shoes.. the only problem is its like a private marriage thing.. so I can't blog about it.. but what do you do when your husband wants to do something you aren't sure you want to do.. no this is nothing gross, seriously it has to do with our future.. and school etc. What do you do when he says "why don't you have faith in me?" or "Why can't you trust me to take care of you and Fae?"
I'm stuck.. I have no answers.
These situations are so hard. I've had the same type of things happen with Chad as far as school goes. I want him to get his masters, he doesn't feel he needs it right now and he questions why I keep pushing it. Finally I just decided to drop it and let him do his thing. The way I see it, things are going to work out- no matter what. They have to, right? Sometimes I think Chad doesn't think that far into the future and isn't seeing the whole picture. He sees what he wants to do NOW. I think it's kind of ingrained in women's minds to always be thinking about the future and what we need to do now to get there. My advice (if it means anything!) would be to trust him and his instincts. If you've voiced your concerns and he still isn't backing down, it must be really important to him. My husband has told me that his biggest fear is letting me and our future family down. I bet that's a big one of Jarom's too. I don't think he'd jeopardize something like that.
ReplyDeleteSUCH A HARD SITUATION!!
ReplyDeletePresident Hinckley said in conference, speaking to young men (which Jarom and I both were at the time) "The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you. She will give her all to the young man she marries. He will largely determine the remainder of her life."
the rest of the talk can be found here
http://lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/let-us-be-men?lang=eng
Chris and I, at least finiancially and career-wise, have made fairly conservative decisions. I also have a very big entrepreneur side to me, and Chris and I have agreed that once I make a healthy living as an attorney, I can start whatever business ventures I want. I'm not sayin this is the best choice for everyone, but it has settled any tension we've had, and we both have agreed and are excited to see where it takes us.
_Best of Luck!
Also, Just while I'm thinking about it (instead of this con law class which seems like it will never end) I thought I'd throw in two more cents (but I hope Jarom doesn't get mad at me for it!)
ReplyDeleteThere have been several potentially lucrative opportunities which have arisen out of the woodwork, which likely would have been a good idea to invest both time and money in. However, sometimes the risk the effects of failure far outweigh the likelihood and effects of success. A very slighted example is the lottery. In hindsight, of course choosing the winning lottery number is a good idea, but putting all your life's savings into lottery tickets with the hope of increasing your odds and chance of winning so much is not worth it.
That being said, sometimes investments or opportunities come up which have fairly low opportunity costs. Though these are rarely as good as they seem.
All in all, having a resentful spouse is a fairly high cost, so there should be a way to compromise somehow so that he doesnt feel like you are faithless, and you dont put all your eggs in a teetering basket. Once again best of luck, hope it goes well.
When Jeremy and I were first married, Jeremy was still trying to figure out what we wanted to do with his life career wise. I wanted him to go to school, and he wanted to join the military. This was NO way in my mind as a good idea for many reasons and for almost a whole year I was entirely against it. It made me so frustrated to think that we were SO different in this area and at times I wondered what I got myself into. Of course I loved him and I wasn't regretting our marriage, I was just so confused as to how different our views on certain things really were. Well after a while of him trying to ignore what he REALLY wanted to do and also trying to find something else that he could be with also making me happy, I finally started seeing how upset it made him. At this point I still didn't think being in the military was for us, but I set my feelings aside and just prayed about it. I know everyone says to pray when you find yourself in this kind of situation but I tend to ignore those promptings until way later. Well what happend was, I got an overwhelming feeling that Jeremy needed to join. So we researched it A LOT and finally decided that the Air Force was the branch he should join. Of course we are making sacrifices for this decision but whenever I get discouraged I just remember how I felt after I prayed. I know that for whatever reason it might be, this is what my husband should be doing. I don't know if this will help you at all.. but I really believe that seeking out what Heavenly Father wants for us, with putting our thoughts and opinions aside, will set us on the right path. Also, reading your patriarchal blessings again might help. Anyway, hope this helps. Good luck with everything.
ReplyDeleteYeah that lottery example was the worst. Sorry bro but true entrepreneurship is not like the lottery at all. Erica, I would say pray about it and have some faith in your husband, he's the man!
ReplyDeleteJosh
Brian my man, not to put you out, but I'm struggling to make the connection between entrepreneurship and the lottery. Delicately put, it's the wrong analogy. The only plausible connection between the lottery and entrepreneurship is that they both require a risk before you can potentially reap the reward. One must acknowledge the enormous differentiation that exists between the two variations of risk. The lottery offers a completely random and unmanageable risk; you have no control over the amount of risk you’re subjecting yourself too. On the other hand, good entrepreneurs wisely evaluate each prospective opportunity with the intent to mitigate their risk, which is achievable through thorough due diligence and analysis. A good entrepreneur is acutely aware of the risks associated with the venture, and goes to great lengths to overcome or reduce those risks. Overall, entrepreneurs manage risk and uncertainty while the lottery is completely random and insoluble.
ReplyDeleteJ-bizz wow!! i'm thoroughly impressed with your writing skills and your word dictation--you are so legit! I agree baby and I will leave you with a suggestion--get yourself to Donald Trump fast! haha, make yourself the next apprentice baby!!
ReplyDeleteJarom, I'm not put out at all. I know the lottery is a not a perfect example by any means,that's why I coyly called it slighted. However, it is simply a hyperbolic and didactic reference meant to show an example where there is an obvious answer to the competing risks involved. While many business ventures could be perfectly compared with the lottery, I know you are a sharp guy with great ideas. Like you said, understanding and weighing competing risks leads to good decisions.
ReplyDeleteI know you are a stud and will be successful, I was simply asserting that opportunities which have been presented to me turned out to require more risk than I was willing and able to bear and afford. The purpose in my posts was to elucidate and hopefully help based on the struggle Erica described.
Good Luck to you both!
Brian, I dig where you're coming from, although a point is best conveyed when you compare apples to apples, not apples to bananas. Ventures that possess characteristics comparable to the lottery are pursued by reckless individuals, hardly considered entrepreneurs. As I mentioned above, entrepreneurship is a methodical process.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, everyone has the ability to determine his/her own risk tolerance. Any two individuals rarely have the same investing criterion. Most people understand that minimal risk investments yield modest returns, while volatile investments yield greater returns. However, riskier investments also pose greater threat of losing everything. That’s why it’s a calculated risk. This formula should govern an entrepreneur’s strategy at all times. Everyone has unique constraints that limit the amount of risk they undergo at any given period in their life. It just so happens I have many restrictions that deter me from engaging in certain activities.
Stay sexy Bri Guy!!!