Faith

Faith is knowing the sun will rise.. Faith is knowing that you are doing on this Earth has a purpose greater than the immediate outcome. Faith is giving your whole self to someone. Faith is hard, and scary sometimes, but without it what would we have?

I am so thankful for the wonderful opportunities we have had over these past two months, everything we've gone through has a purpose, and has caused us to grow and a family. I am thankful for my husband, and my daughter, they are both relentlessly forgiving and kind. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

Pumpkin Patch

We went to a pumpkin patch today with Marlo and my aunt, this was a duck race... so obviously the girls loved getting dirty and wet while they pumped water into the tubes to make their ducks win the race! It really was quite cute!

The girls really had a lot of fun seeing all the "pumpkin people". Each set of pumpkin people were actually from different stories or movies, for example they had alice in wonderland, the three little pigs... etc. 

My favorite boots, and a lonely pumpkin = art. 

The Hay Ride! Fae wasn't sure what to make of it, and both the girls we upset when we told them we weren't getting off to pick pumpkins haha! (But we had already gotten pumpkins at a different pumpkin patch the week before)

Marlo and Auntie

Waiting for the pumpkin-cannon to launch! 

Here's the cannon! It launched the pumpkins so far, it was like a tiny speck in the air- super cool!

Fae is just a little too short for this one! haha she is SO CUTE!

The Club house! The girls had the most fun in here I think. 

Leaving!

We had so much fun, got dirty, and ate the yummiest apple cider doughnuts ever! I also bought a really cute orange circle-y necklace, I love it!

Here's to all of you during this Fall Season, get outside while you still can! 

Isn't it cute?

Fae the Skunk

So, I guess this year we are supposed to be hit by some hurricane Sandy?? And we wont be able to go trick or treating, so here are some pictures of Fae in her costume!

(We might do the mall trick or treating thing, I've never done it before but I think it might be fun)

Anyway, Happy Halloween!

I have to say...

This semester has been the hardest semester of my educational career thus far, not because of the content, or the demanding schedule, but because of the busy work, my responsibilities as a wife and mother, and my ever-changing day to day schedule. Since we returned home from North Carolina, until about a week or two ago, Jarom has been busy about 95% of the day writing, writing letters for potential fellowships, emails, papers, etc. He of course, took the lap top with him, making it very difficult to get anything done, as our desktop computer is in Fae's room... and the only time I can do homework is when she is taking a nap. Quite the conundrum  I know. (And yes, we thought about moving the computer out of that room, but who ever installed the Ethernet outlets didn't do a sufficient and or thought out job, making it impossible.) So, needless to say I was constantly in "catch up" mode. There is nothing in this world I hate more than being behind in something and being stressed about it.. well, maybe 1 thing, wet paper towels. (SICK!) In all seriousness though, I truly was having stress issues. I try to live my life in a calm, collected manner so that I don't really ever exhibit much stress on the outside, nor do I feel stressed on the inside. I try to let the little things go, ignore Fae when she is screaming in a store, or not worry too much when Jarom makes a huge mess in the kitchen right before I am having company over. However, I could not stop worrying, stressing, and freaking out about my classes during those first 3 weeks. I was moody and mean, and having the worst bout of stress headaches in the world, insomuch 3 advil every hour didn't even help. My back hurt, my throat hurt, my neck was killing me, and I could tell my body was literally shutting down. I'm sure you're thinking, "wow, this girl can't handle anything!" and you know what, maybe you're right.
After listening to conference this past weekend, Pres. Uchtdorf spoke about preserving the relationships that matter to us the most. I was really touched by that, I was upset with myself for ignoring Fae to do homework, and mad that I was moody, and mean toward Jarom, but after much thought that madness faded into humility. I knew that was something I needed to hear. I thought about school,  and realized that there were really only 2 reasons I was finishing my degree, 1 was because I want to be a good example for Fae. I want her to value education and become everything that she is capable of becoming. 2 is because I know it is what I should do, and I will be happy I accomplished such an amazing thing.  However, making sure my family knows they are my first priority is more important than either of those two reasons. I never want Fae to feel like my homework and grades are more important than her. I decided then and there I would never put off reading her a story or playing with her to do anything that wasn't dire.  I vowed to be more cheerful and loving toward Jarom, even when I am annoyed that we don't get to see him as much as we would like, and to stop some of my complaining that he doesn't help as much as I'd like around the house. (Some of my complaints are valid by the way, haha)
Anyway, religion aside, I think we all need to preserve our relationships with the people we love and cherish the most, because all those other people and things don't matter. Time, is love, and it's the best thing you can give.

I look forward to many cuddle sessions, lots of learning and new experiences with my little bird, because those are the things that are most important, not the perfectly edited paper, or the immaculate house (much to my chagrin, just joking, but I'm a real, live clean freak). I love the song "Time is love" by Josh Turner, I sing it loudly when I hear it so Jarom really hears the lyrics, but how cute are they?

I only get so many minutes,

don't wanna spend 'em all on the clock

in the time that we spent talkin',

how many kisses have I lost?

time is love, gotta run,

love to hang longer,

but I got someone who waits,

waits for me and right now

she's where I need to be,

time is love, gotta run

I LOVE THESE PEOPLE! (even that wierd one giving the camera a silly face)

Fae's Party

Well, maybe I went a little overboard, maybe we got too much food, and maybe the two cakes me made were too much.. maybe... but definitely not! Fae had such a wonderful birthday party, spent with friends and family! We were so thankful that we got to see some extended family, eat yummy pizza and in Fae's case, play with friends! 

I had been planning her party for a few weeks, I arranged a bounce house (courtesy one of my mom's friends) a ball pit (courtesy my aunt), and balloons, and the kids loved it! 

We were also able to use the church's gym... so there was tons of room for the kids to run around.

The tables has balloons and little bags of caramel popcorn with "tags" that said "We can't believe Fae is Turning two, We're thankful we got to celebrate and play with you!"

I made each of the kids a drawstring backpack (yes, I sewed them myself) with their initial on it! - they were really easy, so don't give me too much credit!

Oh! and we also had a pinata, which of course even though I "rigged" it, didn't break haha! still 

fun!

I didn't get any pictures really because we decided to video tape it instead (which sucks because I don't have one of her eating her cake or blowing out the candles :( oh well, there's always next year, right?), but here is one with 5 of the kids!! They were loving the ball pit and the big balloons! 

I will try to upload some video footage at some point, but I think it's going to be too long. 

Fae being really excited about her Dora water bottle! 

Singing happy birthday! (it was the shortest video I could find)

These were the water bottles I made for her party (stole the idea from my sister in law, megan, but they were so cute!)

I had a great time planning and carrying out her "way too big for a 2 yr old" party. I love to see my little Bird laughing and running around crazy, so all our efforts were totally worth it! A big thank you for all the beautiful presents and for coming and hanging out with us to celebrate Fae's special day! We love you all! 

What is beautiful?

I have been seeing this picture popping up all over Facebook lately, and I have to say it has really bothered/stuck out to me. I'm torn by what this picture is really saying, I know the general message is something along the lines of "you don't have to be a skinny super model to be beautiful" and with that, I totally agree. The other thing this picture is telling me is that it's okay to be over weight, and that your weight has nothing to do with beauty.. which I also agree with, to some point.
I have never noticed how huge of a role society plays in our everyday lives, on one hand we have actresses coming out and saying "I'm fat, I know it, embrace it, love it, because it's okay to be unhealthy, it's still beautiful." along with other things like "we don't have to be skinny like "everyone" wants us to be. On the other hand we are willingly forced to see beautiful men and women on TV, in magazines, online and in newspapers who are stick thin, claiming they do not have a disorder, that the bones sticking out of their chests are a sign of being healthy. So what is it? What is beauty? Should we all put on 50 lbs and call it good? or should we exercise and deprive ourselves of food? It seems as though these are the only answers we have.

Now, I beg to differ on this. I spent a majority of my life worrying about my weight, as you can tell from some of my previous blog posts, I even went through a 2 yr. eating disorder in which I literally ate nothing new- ever. My diet was horrible, but I lost about 30 lbs and kept it off. Awesome? no. When I became pregnant I wasn't one of those people who stuffed their faces and blamed the baby, (not to be rude, but some of those people are out there) I tried to eat a little better, and get over my - what I will call "fear of  new foods". The pregnancy helped a lot, and I gained a normal "healthy" amount of weight, and delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl. I'm using the word healthy a lot here because I think that is what beauty is. To me, beauty is a combination of happiness, healthiness, and confidence. There is nothing worse than either a skinny person OR an overweight person complaining about their weight. In fact, I find it pathetic.

Right now, according to the "doctors charts" I am right at a "healthy weight" and I have to say that, no I'm not as thin as my wedding day, but I am much happier and a LOT less self conscious. There are days of course that I wish I could look good in some skinny jeans, but come on, do those really look good on anyone?? (Maybe I'll address the world's fashion problems next). Beauty should not be defined by a persons weight, although (AND ALL MEDICAL ISSUES ASIDE- obviously) weight can be an outward expression of an inward problem. What my main concern is, is that we (especially here in America- according to my homework this week) are so willing to let society and the mass media tell us what is beautiful and what is acceptable. Letting our weight define us as individuals, letting it dictate our level of happiness and confidence is absolute ludicrous.

What I suggest isn't that all the overweight people loose weight, and all the underweight people gain it, I'm suggesting that we all find our "happy place" the place where we all feel most comfortable, the place where it really doesn't matter what number your jean size is because you are confident in yourself anyway. Beauty is NOT self consciousness, and it is NOT unhappiness. It also isn't the classic "trying to make your self feel better by putting others down"-syndrome that many girls these days have. We all just need to worry about ourselves, find what makes us happy, and the people who will fully support us in this venture. So often are we surrounded by people who don't want us to be our best selves, and this is something we need to get rid of.

For the younger girls out there, it's hard sometimes, in high school to realize how meaningless, and silly all this is- but let me assure you- it will pale in comparison to your "grown up years". Are we going to sit back and willingly let society, or friends, the media, etc, tell us what is acceptable and beautiful? OR are we going to decide for ourselves what makes us happy?

Happiness, Confidence, and Healthiness= Beauty.

How I feel about...

Fae! I love Fae. Actually, that is an understatement, but I am having a hard time finding a better word, cherish, adore, am enamored with... you get the idea. Fae is one sweet, funny, silly little girl. She is so smart and so beautiful. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful little girl in my life. She has just so many awesome qualities, one of which is a fantastic sense of humor. Lately she has been making funny faces and saying "mommy, that's funny!" haha she is just the bees knees. I love my girl. I am so excited/sad/happy about her turning 2.. I really can't believe it has been almost 2 years since she came into this world. So much has changed, in our lives and she has been quite the little trooper.

All I can say is that I adore and cherish the little life Jarom and I brought into this world. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby girl. She is the light of my life, the apple of my eye.. and all the other corny phrases.